A Wednesday Afternoon

I thought I had the day off today but it turns out I was looking at the wrong schedule. There are repair men here to fix our AC unit that won’t stop dripping so hopefully I won’t have to fall asleep to the sound of the droplets hitting the cup I set out anymore. This morning started off really great, Fox didn’t wake up until 8:30 so we got to sleep in a little bit but with the men and power tools coming in and out of the apartment he hasn’t stopped screaming and ripping off his diaper? That’s a new one. I put him in a onesie and gave him a bottle as a last resort. It’s nearing nap time and I just hope they leave soon. I have to close tonight and although I really need the money after what a joke last week was I really do not want to be there all night. Getting a toddler to nap when there is really exciting shit going on sucks. Daniel was sick last night and I really wish he would have stayed home. I will never understand the job priority although I do respect the work ethic. I just feel alone sometimes, like how did I go from living alone to all of this? It obviously brings me joy most of the time but days like today I am overwhelmed. I feel like I can’t do this right. Like if Noelle was here would he act like this. Would he hit her or throw things at her like he does me? What am I doing wrong? My “step parenting” skills are lacking today. I lied to Noelle and said I had to work earlier than I do so I can drop him off and have some alone time. Is that horrible? The whole idea of this ~blog~ was to be able to write down my thoughts so I don’t force them on anyone who will listen but right now I was I had some one who had been through this before. I need some one to tell me I’m not crazy.